Getting Real: tension is how you think you should be, ease is who you are

I have been experimenting with a map fondly titled Is vs. Ought, from the book The Oz Principle*.  “Is” is what is real; “ought” is what we believe life, our bodies, our friends, etc. should be. It takes skill and courage to see, and face, life as it is, instead of how we wish things were. Most of us employ a variety of strategies (denial, keep doing what we are doing hoping something will change, make excuses, finger pointing, confusion, etc.) to remain in ought. It takes courage to see what is real, and then find new ways to live, work, be that are more real, and therefore ease-ier. 

I have been living with chronic Lyme and a knee without cartilage. After years of some degree of denial, the reality is, I cannot do many things I think I should be able to do: whether an intense yoga pose, long work days, or jumping on a trampoline (yeah, I tried that last week – bad idea).

I learned that the farther I am from “is” (see graph) the more strain I place on body, mind, soul. Conversely as I settle back toward “is” the easier it is to be me and live a full life. 

Screenshot 2015-08-03 11.45.57

Tension is how you think you should be; ease is who you are.

I learned that as I get closer to “is” I can do a lot more than I thought. But at a pace, and with supports in place and without strain, so that more and more of what I do is done in ease – on the mat and off. The definition of yoga asana is steadiness and ease – life is becoming yoga asana. 

Turns out another hard part is really seeing my own self-limiting patterns, habits, and beliefs.  But that’s another story!

I have found this language of “is” vs “ought” so useful this last couple years, that I want to share it with clients and students.  I am offering a 2 hour workshop Sunday August 23, 2016 share this: how to tell when you are caught in “ought” and how to support yourself to get more real – and so more easy being you! 

Maher lg group photo

Maher Update

Sister Lucy, Maher's Founder, is returning to Maine in September. Maher (“Mother’s Home”) is an interfaith refuge for battered and at risk women and children in India. I have been an active volunteer/supporter for 6 years now, including writing a book about replicating the amazing work of Maher.

New Documentary Film

“Sister Heart” is in it’s final production and will be ready to screen in September. I have seen it – it’s wonderful. I am planning to show it in N Yarmouth and also Portsmouth NH.  Other events in N Yarmouth, Portland, and Kittery are planned.  Stay tuned!

Contact me if you are interested in helping get the word out or supporting any of these events!